The Reluctant Vigilante

 

It’s going to happen.

Soon, very soon, I will snap.

One word or deed

will break this poet’s back.

Coming soon to a town near you.

 

Will it be the person who thinks turn signals are frivolous and unnecessary?

Will it be the one who cuts me off, so close that I can hear her phone conversation?

Or will it be the other

(Maybe even a cop)

who doesn’t understand that red means stop

And stop means stop.

Not pause, not yield, but STOP.

How much simpler could it be?

 

What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

Today, I am Hercules.

 

70% of Americans think that they have above average intelligence.

I wonder where they are.

I am plagued by the other 30%

Who blow smoke in my face,

Refuse to hold down a job

Are rude, crude, selfish, and unkind

 

If I were the Supreme Court

I would pass a law that would be ubiquitous

To throw out all the pointless and ridiculous

lawsuits and require that those filing

would have to pay an “idiot fee”

for wasting my time and your money.

We all know the coffee is hot!

 

The only golden rule I see

is thinly plated and tarnishing fast.

 

I feel I am always being tested.

By who or what I do not know

But there must be a purpose to this relentless

maelstrom of inhumanity, media insanity,

and political calamity.

The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer.

Still, adversity builds character.

 

I have enough character to put on

a Shakespearean play…by myself.

 

This isn’t an opus of arrogance

Or over self confidence

I’m as neurotic as the next guy

And perhaps not as bright

But I do believe in karma,

in the good Samaritans of the world,

and giving back some of what you get.

If that gets me taken off with a butterfly net

So be it.

 

Soon, very soon,

It’s going to happen.

 

 

 

 

Audio Version
(As it sounds in my head)

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