Ho HoÖOh Please!
They say Iím a curmudgeon around this time of year
The guy in the red suit neednít be trying so hard
Iíll order gifts online while you go deck your own halls
I donít begrudge those who feel the need to go out caroling
Just leave me alone to do my own thing
What if I were Buddhist, Jewish, atheist or other
Would you still drape me in garland until I think I will smother?
Would you respect my private ceremonial rite
Instead of trying to force me to celebrate night after night?
The truth is that I do enjoy Christmas in the way that itís meant
But refuse to go crazy until I canít pay the rent
All the hoopla and hustle makes me so dizzy and weak
That I take to my bed, unable to speak
So donít be offended if I refuse your invitation
And opt for a month of glorious hibernation
As a matter of fact, Christmas pine makes me wheeze