Ho HoÖOh Please!



They say Iím a curmudgeon around this time of year

I tell them Iíve stored my tree and good cheer

The guy in the red suit neednít be trying so hard

You canít buy my spirit with a gold Master card


Iíd take a case of the plague over a crowded shopping mall

Iíll order gifts online while you go deck your own halls

I donít begrudge those who feel the need to go out caroling

Just leave me alone to do my own thing


What if I were Buddhist, Jewish, atheist or other

Would you still drape me in garland until I think I will smother?

Would you respect my private ceremonial rite

Instead of trying to force me to celebrate night after night?


The truth is that I do enjoy Christmas in the way that itís meant

But refuse to go crazy until I canít pay the rent

All the hoopla and hustle makes me so dizzy and weak

That I take to my bed, unable to speak


So donít be offended if I refuse your invitation

And opt for a month of glorious hibernation

As a matter of fact, Christmas pine makes me wheeze

We can bring in the new yearÖHo hoÖoh please!





Audio Version
(As it sounds in my head)