Billy Carter


If I should ever become President,

a rare and unprecedented event,

I don’t want you to become

my Billy Carter.


Your unique take on foreign affairs

would make public opinion flare;

Selling the Lincoln Memorial,

taking pooka shells as barter.


Traipsing on the White House lawn,

Every trace of clothing gone;

The press would hang you out to dry,

my Billy Carter.


I’d surely be ousted by Congress

Suffering great mental distress…

Journalists would trace my rapid descent.

Never would I be a martyr!


Oh, we’d have fun at taxpayers’ expense!

Casting aside all propriety and credence

till I’d retire to my palatial residence

with you, my Billy Carter.